with your own penis?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
