I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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