are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
