I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Even my vagina gasped.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
