I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
