He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
