I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize