I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am naked and annoyed.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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