He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize