didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
