He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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