you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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