I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
