Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
