Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
