We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
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