Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
sex in a hospital.. check
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
