Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
