Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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