More tranny stories later!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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