WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How does one acquire holy water?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
