How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
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