new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
