can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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