is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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