Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
