Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
