1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
