Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
