Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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