i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
