absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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