We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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