I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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