I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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