This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
