i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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