she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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