We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
