sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Boobs speak an international language.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
