all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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