Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
