Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
