So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
