Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
