too bad you live with your parents still
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
