So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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