Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
