just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
