if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
as a side note pls kill me
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