Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
