If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
