Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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