I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
