Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
