So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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