I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
