Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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