if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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