Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
