I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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