I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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