After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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