Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
