No subtext here. People are naked.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
